Blood test confirmed that the FET was not a success. I'm glad that I already knew the results. I think it would be tough to build hope and let your mind play tricks on you just so that it crushes you at the end. I felt prepared. Although, POAS can play tricks on one's mind too.
No more IVF cycles for our family. I've hit that place where I have to accept that I have a beautiful baby boy and I'm blessed for that.
I am still struggling to cope with Julian's prognosis. He's strong and healthy and feels great but to know that he is high risk for relapsing is a bitter pill to swallow. I wonder if I will ever be able to think of how sick he got without crying. I can't even look a the cards or photos that he received while he was in the hospital without falling apart. I hope that this doesn't last forever. I hope that I have Julian around for my "forever".
Sunday, October 24, 2010
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