Conclusion to IVF cycle #2

I received my beta results yesterday....and they were in fact a negative. I fully expected that. I began to POAS early on with all negative results. I still don't regret doing that because it allowed me to grieve prior to getting that phone call with the negative beta results. Even so....it was pretty painful. I had to leave work because I just couldn't stop crying.

I really felt that if anyone touched me...I would totally lose control with the crying. On the flip side...I felt that if anyone said "well, at least you already have kids" I would have punched them. So, it was definately better for me to leave work and spend sometime with just myself.

My insurance didn't cover any of the IVF...it was all an out of pocket expense for us. I wish that we could try again but we just can't take out another loan. Therefore, we have decided to go ahead an go for a tubal reversal. We will be doing some research on it and then making an appointment with more than one doctor and getting some more information. After that...we will make our final decision about going ahead with it or letting go of this dream.

Our insurance will completely cover the reversal and if after two years of trying I don't get pregnant...then they will cover IVF.

12dp3dt

I haven't tested myself today but I am pretty confident that it is and will remain negative. As of last night....all of my POAS were BFN. My official beta is this Friday and I expect that to be negative. I don't think that I am being negative....just realistic.

I suppose now we are left to decide on a tubal reveral or to accept that it just isn't going to happen. Usually, a few days after getting your negative result from the fertility clinic, they call to set up an appointment for a follow up. At that time, I imagine we will be asked to be referred to the ONE doctor at Shady Grove Fertility that still does tubal reversals. I imagine that my husband and I will meet with him for some further information so that we can decide.

My husband is inclined at this point to let it go and I really don't know how I feel yet. I am just numb.

8 1/2 dp3dt

I am getting technical here with the 8 1/2....However, I had my egg retrieval at 4pm and then 3 days later my transfer at 6:30pm. Therefore, this morning it would make me 8 1/2dp3dt. I did POAS, using the "good" kind First Response and got a BFN. I literally felt sick to my stomach wth sadness. Now a little bit of bitterness is settling in. The realization that it really does take money to have a baby. There is a roughly 67% chance of getting pregnant with each try of IVF...the more times that you can try....the more chance you have of getting pregnant. We could only afford to get a loan out for two tries. Therefore, it is looking like we will not be having a baby.

It would be easier for me to let go of the pain if I knew that I wasn't having a baby because my body simply couldn't regardless of how many times I tried. However, that isn't true. That is the hardest part for me at this time.

I looked at the website Betabase.info at the average beta's on several women for different days. These are based on 3 day transfers: 8 dpt - 28, 9dpt - 48 and 10dpt - 79. I tried to grasp at some hope by realizing this morning when I tested I would be not quite 9 dpt and maybe a beta in the 20's just wouldn't register on a HPT. Deep in my heart I am not too hopeful about that one.

This Christmas is going to stink. I have to finish my Christmas shopping today and I work a 12 hour shift in the ER tomorrow and then an 8 hour day at a clinic on Monday, Christmas Eve....before heading to my husband's sister's house for Christmas. I know that someone (many someones) are going to ask me how it went with this IVF and I think I might fall apart. I guess there isn't much that I can do about that.

4dp3dt/No embies to freeze

I found out today that the remaining embryos did not make it to blasts.

I felt torn with sadness and fear of the underlying relief that was there. If I am pregnant with this cycle....I really wouldn't have wanted any left over. To have frozen embryos would have added another $1,800 for us to come up with (during Christmas) which would have stressed us. Also, it would have left us with two options. Option 1: donate them to another couple or Option 2: dicard them. My husband and I could never discard and embryo...so it left us stuck with donating them and that would have haunted me. I would have wondered forever...what that child looked like and was he/she like myself or my husband, would they long for me. I guess we could have paid to keep them frozen forever.

The flip side is....if this cycle doesn't work...I am all out of tries.

3dp3dt

So far, so good. I have tried not to think about my beta (pregnancy test) but it does creep into my head at some point during the day.

I have had the typical symptoms that come with the estrogen shot that trick your mind into thinking that you are pregnant: sore boobs and cramping

I was trying to remember when embryos implant...I think that it is on day 5 or 6 from fertilization. Today would be day 6 for me.

Transfer

My transfer went much more smoothly than last time. I had my transfer yesterday at 6pm.

Last time I was asked to drink 2 (16 ounce ) bottles of water on the way to my transfer. When you get there you have to wait 30 minutes before you start the transfer. By the time they started last time....I was crying in pain from my bladder being ready to burst! The transfer was more painful than any shot or cramping that I had through out the process. They also ask that you lay there for a while after the transfer...I bolted up and ran (butt hanging out and all) to the bathroom and then cried because I felt like I ruined my procedure.

This time....I drank one bottle of water on the way there. I strongly suspect that because of the gastric bypass...water dumps into my bladder quicker and therefore I can't tolerate holding it as much. I also relieved myself briefly (they asked me to count to 10 and stop the stream) prior to the transfer. It still hurt and the sonogram person told me that I my bladder was completely full but it was tolerable. I had to take my mind far away and still wanted to cry. I also asked the doctor to catherize me right afterwards.

Unfortunately, I found out AFTER my last experience...that they could catherize you right after the procedure. This time, I asked right away and he did. I felt instant relief and was able to lay there afterwards and bask in my thoughts of possibly being pregnant.

I am headed to a Christmas dinner for work tonight. My doctor said that it would be ok as long as I stayed in bed today, sat at dinner the whole time and came back to bed. They ask that you do 24 hours of bedrest and then 3 days of light activity. I have to say...I am already feeling guilty about going to dinner.

Sorry...if there are typos.....I am in a rush.

Tomorrow is my transfer...

Well, it looks like it will be a 3 day transfer for me again. I tried not to be as disappointed but it is building up again....the disappointment.

The nurse mentioned that the doctor wants to put back 3 embryos. I am not sure how to feel about that. I really want to do every possible thing to increase my odds but I don't think that I could handle triplets. Financially it would be a huge drain and of coarse I can't deny my fears of the health risks that exist with premature babies. I could handle twins but triplets is pushing it. Then, I feel guilty because I wouldn't just happily accept whatever God gives me. Starting out with debt from IVF is causing me stress about the finances that come with a baby.

Tomorrow I am supposed to talk to the doctor in the morning about how many embryos to put back in. I am afraid that it won't work at all and it depresses me and then I think what if all three took and then I feel overwhelmed. I am sure that the hormones are having a part in my emotions.

As of this morning....I still had 5 embryos. Two were at 4 cells, two were at 2 cells and one was at 5 cell. From my understanding...the uneven cell count ones aren't preferred and the ones that are at 2 cells....clearly aren't thriving. The perfect thing would be to have 8 cell embryos on a 3 day transfer.

So, tomorrow at 5:30am I have to be there for a 6pm transfer.

I meant to write egg retrieval at 3:45 pm

Egg Retrieval and Fertilization Report

My egg retrieval was yesterday at 3:34pm. Everthing went smoothly. I was pretty sore and groggy....as well are really nauseated afterwards. I woke up still a little sore today and not quite feeling right yet.

They retrieved 9 eggs, all were mature this time. 7 fertilized (with ICSI) and of those....2 didn't make it today, the other 5 are in their first stage of development. I will find out tomorrow if it will be a 3 or 5 day transfer.

Comparison Chart

Sorry about the comparison chart....it didn't come out how I typed it. You have to read through it to figure it out. I had typed the info from cycle #1 to the left and cycle #2 to the right...it didn't seperate it.

IVF #2/ Final Stim Check

These are the stats from my last stimulation monitoring: estrogen 3,905 and my follicle measurements were 2 at 23mm, 1 at 20mm, 1 at 19mm, 2 at 18mm, 2 at 17mm, 1 at 16mm and 1 at 14.4mm.

I am pretty amazed by these measurements. The "iffy" ones caught up. All except for one (14.5mm).

This is a comparison chart from IVF #1 to IVF#2:

IVF #1 IVF #2

stim day 4 - estrogen 80 stim day 4 - estrogen 154
follicles all <10mm follicles all <10mm

stim day 6 - estrogen 160 Stim day 6 - estrogen 362
follicles all <10mm follicles btwn 10-11mm (some <10mm)

stim day 8 - estrogen 452 Stim day 8 - estrogen >800
follicles btwn 10-13mm follicles btwn 10-12mm

stim day 10 - estrogen 950 Stim day 10 - estrogen 1222
follicles btwn 12-18mm follicles btwn 9-17mm

stim day 11 - estrogen 1150 Stim day 11 - estrogen 1830
follicles btwn 16-20mm follicles btwn 9-18mm

Trigger day - estrogen 1821 Trigger day - estrogen 3,905!!!
follicles btwn 16-21mm follicles btwn 14-23mm
trigger time 1:15am trigger time 2:45am

Egg Retrieval - 6 eggs retrieved TBA
4 mature
2 fertilized
3 day transfer of 2 embryos
Negative pregnancy test

IVF #2/Stim check 7

Here are my stats: estrogen at 1830. Follicles - 2 at 18.9mm, 1 at 17.9mm, 1 at 16.9mm, 1 at 15.7mm, 1 at 14.5mm, 3 at 13mm, 1 at 12mm, 1 at less than 10mm. Based on this, it looks like 5 at good, 1 is "iffy" and the rest are not likely viable. I have one more night of stim meds tonight and it looks like I will trigger tomorrow and have my egg retrieval Monday.

BECAUSE....I said that I wasn't feeling much of anything yesterday....today, I began to feel uncomfortable. It wasn't too bad...just a bloated, achiness, pressure. My doses are staying the same tonight...which is 6 vials of meds! I made the menopur more concentrated by putting two vials into one shot. However, that still leaves me with 5 shots.

My thighs are so sore and bruised. I don't like using my belly because I have concerns about the absorption due to the excess skin post gastric bypass. It isn't too bad but still notable.

I look forward to removing all of that after having a baby.

IVF #2/ Stim check 3-6

Stim check 3 : my estrogen was greater than 800 and my follicles were measuring between 10-12mm. There were some still under 10. I am returning everyday now for monitoring. This where it kind of becomes a pain in the butt and you begin to want it over.

Stim check 4: Their computers were down and I was unable to get any information. The nurse called me with my dosing information which was decreased to menopur 112 and gonal f at 300 due to my estrogen level rising. There was concern because my estrogen level was rising quickly but my follicles weren't catching up.

Stim check 5: My estrogen level was at 1,222 today. These are my follicle measurements - 1 at 17mm, 1 at 16.8mm, 1 at 15.8mm, 1 at 15mm, 1 at 14mm....Then I have the "iffy" group - 3 at 12mm.....and the "probably won't make it group" - 1 at less than 10mm and 2 at 10mm.

My dosing was increased to 300 of menopur and 3o0 of gonal f. I started the ganirelix yesterday and will take it every night until I trigger.

I was told that I will have one or two more days of stimulation (counting today)...then trigger day. So, it looks like these eggs are coming out Sunday or Monday. There is not a good chance that the 3 smaller follicles will be mature. The "iffy" group might have a chance at being mature. The first group is looking pretty good. This, again puts me at a lower egg count....so, I am feeling some disappointment set in. However, I do realize that it only takes one good one.

The clinic that I go to uses this as a rule for egg retrieval....3 follicles measuring 18mm and appropriate estrogen level (100-200 per follicle). Follicles grow one to two mm per day. Mature follicles measure between 16-22mm. They are using ICSI and assisted egg hatching this time. This will increase my chances at getting pregnant, giving me the most opportunities.

I must say...I am still not feeling much of anything. During the last IVF cycle....at this point I felt a lot of bloating and pressure. I feel more emotional but that could be the effects of two cycles back to back. My thighs are pretty sore and have several bruises. I prefer my thighs for these subcutaneous injections.

IVF #2 / Stim check #2

My estrogen level is continuing to rise nicely. Today it was 362. I still had 11 visible follicles. Some were measuring at 10mm, one at 11mm and the rest still less than 10mm. I return for my next stim check on Tuesday (the day after tomorrow).

I am not really feeling much of anything besides cravings. I can't remember when exactly did I begin to feel pressure and uncomfortable last time. I know that the last 3 days weren't so comfortable.

IVF #2 - Stim check #1

My appointment went better than the last time. They saw 11 follicles. They were all under 10mm at this point. My estrogen level is 154. The nurse said that is exactly where it should be.
I am staying on the same doses of meds...Gonal F 300 and Menopur 150. I have my next stim check on Sunday. I am getting excited.

IVF #2

I had my suppression check this past Saturday and everything looked good. My estrogen level was 52 and there were no cysts. I was cleared to go ahead and start my stimulation meds this coming Tuesday. They are starting me out at Gonal F 300 and Menopur 150. My first stim check will be this coming Friday. No lupron at all this time.

I am sure that I don't need to mention that I am really really hoping that this time it will work.

Conclusion to IVF #1

Sorry that I wasn't able to update my blog in the end of the cycle. I was having computer issues and had to take it to place for work on it! $300 later it's up and running. If I added any more money...I could have had a new system!

I had my egg retrieval on a Wednesday 10/10/07. It wasn't bad at all! They started my IV, walked me into the "OR" type room. I sat at the end of the stretcher and that is all I remember about the procedure. My husband says that I was talking in spanish in recovery. That in itself is funny. I am bilingual but my primary language is English. I think in English, translate things in my head and then speak Spanish. My husband is 100% American and doesn't speak any Spanish. I also told them I had to hurry because I had soccer practice. Well, I played soccer in middle school for ONE year.

I did have some mild cramping later on but nothing to write home about. I had no spotting. I took off work the following day because of the emotions of it all. I felt like I needed to just sleep.
When they called me the following day with my update....that only 6 eggs were retrieved, only 4 were mature and only 2 fertilized. I was glad that I got that update at home. I tried to be happy but felt disappointed.

I had a 3 day transfer. They put back one 6 cell and one 7 cell embryo with no fragmentation. The fact that they weren't 8 cell also made me sad. I know....I know....I am a perfetionist. The doctor kept telling me that they were perfect embryos for day 3.

After that...I began taking home pregnancy test on day 6 after my transfer. My thought was....I want a negative one first....to make sure that the trigger shot is in fact out of my system.....so, if I get a subsequent positive....I know that it is really a positive. Unfortunately, my test continued to remain negative up until the day of the beta which was also negative.

I was pretty heartbroken. My husband and I decided to give it one more try. Our insurance doesn't cover IVF because I had a selective tubal ligation. Therefore, it meant taking out another loan.

We met with our doctor and she changed things around for this time. She felt that I oversurppressed on the lupron and developed a cyst. Therefore, this time she will put me on the birthcontrol pills for the 3 weeks (as before) for suppression but she will not use Lupron. I will go in the day after I stop the birthcontrol pills for a "suppression check"....mostly to make sure that everything looks normal and that there are no cycsts. Then on day 4 after stopping the birthcontrol pills I will start stimulation meds. I will be adding Ganirelix to my meds when my follicles reach about 14-16mm which will prevent ovulation.

I am really hoping that this time I make more eggs, that some make it to day 5 and that I actually get pregnant. I am currently on week 2 of the birthcontrol pills. I am suppose to start stimulation meds on 11/27.

Stim check #5 & 6

Not as I expected...I had to return to for two more days of monitoring. I am finally using the trigger medication tonight and the egg retrieval will be on Wednesday. I can't begin to say how uncomfortable I am. I almost feel sick. I am wondering how bad tomorrow will be!

My estrogen level on Sunday was 1150 and today was 1821. Today I had one 21 mm egg, two 20mm eggs, one 18, one 17, two 16 and one 11. I began stimulation with a cyst on my right side...so I suspect that the size 11mm egg might actually be a cyst.

I really wish that I didn't have to work tomorrow!

Stim Check #4

My estrogen level was at 950 and I have two 18's, one 17, one 16, one 15, two 14's, one 13 and one 12. They would like my estrogen to be a little higher and for the smaller eggs to catch. I might be doing my trigger shot tomorrow....which means that the eggs will be retrieved on Tuesday. Yay.

I started feeling uncomfortable last night. I feel a lot of pressure and achiness. I even drempt that I was in labor!

Stim Check #3 correction

My largest 3 follicles are 13mm....the rest are from 10 to 12mm.

Stim Check #3

My estrogen level doubled again to 452 (which is what they want). I have 9 measureable follicles. The 3 largest are at 16mm, the rest are between 10-12. I was given a new tentative date for egg retrieval: Next Wednesday or Thursday. We are coming along...yay.

Stimulation Check #2

My estrogen level doubled to 160 which is what they wanted. They saw 10 follicles this time (I guess they didn't see them all last time :-) They were all still to small to measure. They have to be at least 10mm to be measureable. I will be staying on the same medication doses and return to the office Thursday at 7am for my stimulation check #3. The nurse felt that they should be measureable by that time. Let's hope.

Stim Check #1

I went in this morning at 7:15am for an ultrasound and blood work. They said I only developed 6 follicles and that I will not develop more. We just have to watch those mature. My estrogen level went from 60 in suppression to only 80. Therefore, they increased my meds to Menopure 150 and Gonal F 375. I find that I am bruising at the sites where I give myself the menopure. It burns a bit too! I had my husband give it to my in my arm tonight because my belly is sore and black and blue. I go back Tuesday for stim check #2.

This roller coaster ride has it's hi's and low's. I am low right now.

Suppression Re-check

Good news...my estrogen level dropped down to 60 (my RE said that this was OK because of the cyst) and the cyst went to half of the size that it was before. I start my stimulation medications tonight! Yay! I am not looking forward to the 3 shots but I am looking forward to moving this along. I go in for my first stimulation monitoring on Sunday at 7:15am. I am so excited!

Accupuncture

I had my first accupuncture appointment today. It was weird and I am not sure that I felt that much different. However, I have read in so many places and spoke with a few people that have felt accupuncture helped this IVF process out.

I have been on pins and needles (no pun intended) waiting for Thursday morning when they will repeat my bloodwork and sonogram. I have asked all of my prayer buddies to pray for me. I am hoping with all of my heart that everything will be a go ahead for starting the stimulation meds.

Suppression Check

Well...my estrogen level was 67 and they would like it to be 50 or lower before starting the stimulation meds. I also have a cyst on my right ovary that might have caused the elevated estrogen level. I was told to continue on Lupron until Thursday morning (2 more days) and return at 7:15am for a repeat sonogram and bloodwork. If my level is below 50, I would start the stimulation meds that evening. If not...I am wondering if the cycle will get cancelled. This process is quite emotionally draining. I feel more depressed today than yesterday.

I scheduled an accupuncture appointment for tomorrow. I am hoping that will help relax me if nothing else. ;-(

Moodiness

Tomorrow is my suppression check. I have been so depressed these past few days. I am afraid of how much MORE depressed I will be if this doesn't work. I hope I get good news tomorrow. I also decided to have accupuncture done. I think I need all of the relaxation help that I can get.

Lupron Begins

Today I started my Lupron shots. I am taking 10 units subcutaneoulsy, every morning. I was glad that it didn't hurt at all. I actually barely felt the needle or the medication. However, I did feel tired most of today. I also vomited after my breakfast. I can't tell if that is because of the Lupron or the birth control pills or the baby aspirin. I have been queezy ever since I started the birth control pills...it was just worse today. I haven't been able to take my vitamins consistantly since this IVF process has started. My little stomach pouch can't take all of this! Vitamins are really important to gastric bypass patients. That might even account for my exhaustion.

I keep looking at my calendar and counting the estimated dates before I start the stimulation meds and then I count the estimated days until I have the embryo retrieval/transfer. I really would like for this process to be over. I keep praying and hoping that it will work!

Mock Embryo Transfer

I had my mock embryo transfer on September 5th and everything went well. The doctor basically goes through the whole physical process of transfering the embryo's without actually transfering anything. They are trying to make sure that they won't encounter any structural problems or difficulties on the actual date of the transfer.

I am still on the birthcontrol pills. I start the Lupron injections next Monday. I am really excited but I try not to think about it because it has the potential to drive me nuts. I know that this might sound dark...however, I find myself thinking of all of the possible reasons that I wouldn't want to be pregnant so that if it doesn't work...I won't feel so devastated.

The biggest one would be that I lost about 80 pounds and would absolutely hate to go back there again. However, when I go to my sons' football games...there is this little girl there that just turned one....she is just so adorable and totally melts my heart! I look at her and I feel pain at the thought that I might not get pregnant.

Drugs

I received my shipment of fertility drugs in the mail today. Thank you, thank you for good insurance! I only had to pay a $28 copay rather than the $3200 that they cost. I am in the first phase...taking the BCP's. I start taking Lupron on September 17th. I have a tentative schedule for the embryo transfer on October 10th. I also feel blessed because I just found out that I was given a $1500 discount for my IVF cycle. I know the doctor that is doing it from a mutual friend, I have also worked with her when I took care of a patient of hers at the hospital. I imagine the discount came as a result of being a nurse and the rest of it that I mentioned. I did ask about a possible professional courtesy discount to the finance office. They emailed her and sent me a notice this week about the discount that I was given. I am so relieved and grateful for that.

We are paying out of pocket for the cycle because of my tubal ligation being the cause of my infertility. I have heard about prices varying from area to area...in this area (DC metropolitan area)...a cycle runs $9500, ICSI is an additional $2000. Thus far, I was told that we will not need ICSI. Things have been working out for us so far. They do offer the shared risk program...and I believe that runs from $25,000 to $30,000 for up to 5 tries. My husband and I simply couldn't afford that. Keep me in your prayers.

It's stressfull enough to bring a baby into this world with debt from creating it....but it comes at a time when you will hopefully be needing money for possible time off work, baby items, child care, formula, diapers. I guess it shows how the desire to become a mother/father outways the finances. I can't help but be sad that it couldn't happen naturally.

FSH levels are good

I received a call yesterday afternoon that my FSH levels were good and my baseline sonogram was normal. They did the sonogram to make sure that I don't have fibroids, cysts or other structural issues. I start the birth control pills tomorrow.

I am nervous about starting the medications. I absolutely HATE being nauseated and I get that several times a day as it is due to the gastric bypass. You just never know what food will react with you after having that kind of surgery. It could be too much natural sugar in the fruit, too many fat grams or carbs in your meal, one bite too many, too much spice, etc. I really need to be more aware of what I eat. I have been battling nausea quite a bit lately and I hate feeling sick. I don't want to feel worse. I can totally ruin your day when you feel sick so sick that if you move...you will vomit!

It finally came...

Well...I was enjoying my day at a pool party...when my period finally came. That old saying "I am woman, hear me roar"... always comes to my mind on the first day of my period. I am not sure if it is the sudden cramps, the having to wear a diaper, or feeling like I am being punished that causes that particular thought to run through my mind. I basically feel cranky and as if though I could easily rip someone's head off if they pissed me off.

On the fertility note, tomorrow will actually be day one of my cycle because my period came in the afternoon. So, Tuesday I am due at the clinic for blood work and a sonogram. I happen to be off from work on Tuesday, so that works out nicely.

Sperm Test Results Back

Well, I got "our" semen sample results today. He has a 9% morphology. My response was "what is that and what does it mean?". I was told that they like to see it above 14%. They said that the morphology of semen is the shape and normalcy. I understand it like this....out the 100% semen sample...9% were normal in shape and size. She said that there were a lot with 3 tails, many with no heads. I began to picture children with no heads or 3 butts!!!! Apparently this is normal UP TO A CERTAIN %....and they like that % to be greater than 14. Then suddenly I started hearing "ching ching" like coins dropping onto a counter in my head. AND I was right. When this is the case...they recommend either another sample to be given or a procedure called (ICSI) to be used in the fertilization. ICSI stands for Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection. That means that they "micromanipulate" the sperm by injecting a single sperm directly into the egg in order to fertilize it. This is done for low sperm counts or low motility sperm. If they don't have a head or a tail...it won't be motile enough to get the job done. They burrow their heads to get into the egg and use their tails to swim towards it. AND yes...this is another $2000 more! OUCH. I received this information from our nurse. She said that she would speak with our doctor and get back to me on where we go from here. Details details....

Sperm testing day

Well, the day came and we did what we needed to do. It was all rather technical...so much so that I felt a little sad about it. We were uncomfortable in using the fertility clinic's special room...so we worked on the specimen at home and had an hour to deliver it.

They verified that we have done everything that can be done as far as pre-testing. Now, we just wait for my period to come (which is due at the end of the month). At that point I call and schedule my "period" day 3 appointment. At that appointment I will have my first ultrasound done, FSH blood level checked and get my prescriptions to start the birth control pills on day 5. I think that I am keeping this all straight. Too many acronyms and dates!

It seems strange to start birth control pills (BCP) when I am trying to get pregnant. This will stop everything and allow the doctor to take control of my cycle. I have a lot of anxieties about using BCP's. I don't want to gain weight, break out or lose hair from them. I keep reminding myself that I will only be on them for a few short weeks. I have been persistent with my work outs. I have also been pretty good about drinking my protein shakes. I did experience some hair loss after having gastric bypass surgery and quickly realized that if I stuck to my protein regiment...my hair would be normal.

This will be another concern do deal with. I mix my protein powder in a 20 ounce bottle of water and add a packet of crystal light for flavoring. I drink 3 of these a day. I haven't tolerated any other forms. However, splenda isn't recommended during pregnancy. I will have to figure something else out. I know that Unjury...which is the maker of my protein powder...sells chocolate flavored protein powder. I am thinking of trying that out in a glass of milk. I will clearly need the milk, calories and protein. Hopefully I can tolerate it. All this in the name of not going bald or being malnourished.

I am at the beginning of a very exciting and scary time. My husband and I are starting our IVF cycle in about 2 and 1/2 weeks. We had our first appointment on August 1st and our first set of labs (blood work) done this past Wednesday on August 8th.

I have 3 sons that are (16, 12 and 9) from my first marriage. I have been married over 3 years this time around. My husband has no children of his own. We have decided that we want to have one of our own. I had my a tubal ligation after the delivery of my last child. I also had gastric bypass surgery July of 2006. So, there are a few complications in our journey.

After doing our own research and asking professionals for their opionions. We decided to go with IVF. We start with my next menstrual cycle....which is due at the end of this month.
Our next step...my husband has to give a semen sample next Wednesday on August 15th. They are checking to make sure that they are the right shape, amount and motility. Then...we wait for my period.

I might be a little graphic or technical with my writings....it comes from being a former paramedic and current nurse. I can't help it.

All I can do at night...is toss and turn as I try to fall asleep...worrying about how much weight will I gain, what if it doesn't work and we spend all of this money (our insurance isn't covering it because of my elective tubal ligation), will it hurt, will I turn in a hormonal monster!

Well, until next time...I am off to try and get some sleep...again.